Forget the Hummer, bud, they're for sissies and wusses.
If you want a REAL manly vehicle, buy this tank from Badonkadonk. Since you need to shell out only US$20,000 (as opposed to $35,000 to $55,000 for Hummers) its less expensive. Plus you get a sweet PA system.

All it needs is a rocket launcher and ammo...